If asked what was more important to you, which option would you pick: cuddling with your husband or having sex him?
While many of us would say “Cuddling,” our husbands would probably take the sex!
For one, most men are more body-centered and sexually motivated than women. And we, on the other hand, are more relational and emotional.
While men will give affection to get sex, women will give sex to get affection. This difference of opinions can often cause conflict within the marriage.
I have often asked God why sex is so important to men, but not as much to women. One person said that if both the husband and wife had the same motivation about sex, nothing would ever get done. The kids, the house, and the dog would be neglected.
So God created us to balance one another out when it comes to our approach on sex. With this being said, one of the most major parts of marriage is sex. However, many women don’t enjoy sex and could ultimately live their entire lives without ever having sex with their husbands.
Below you will find four common reasons why women often lose motivation about having sex with their husbands:
1) Emotions. Women tend to be very emotional at different points in their lives. Much of it is hormonal, but some of it can be cultural or familial. For example, if a woman’s mother often allowed her hormones to rule her to where she was often “touchy” and sensitive about different situations, chances are this woman will learn to allow her hormones to rule her unless she makes a decision to rule her emotions instead.
2) Fatigue. As women, we are often a primary care giver for the children, especially if we stay at home. This role of being there for our children, (whether we work inside or outside of the home), is not uncommon because we are born nurturers. There’s also housework, mental fatigue, and many other things that can drain our energy throughout the day.
3) Preoccupation. In addition to being deprived of energy, we can become easily distracted when it comes to focusing on sex. Whether it’s a crying baby or a phone call we often establish a habit of allowing other things to take priority over our love lives.
4) Stress. Our emotions and preoccupation can build up which will ultimately lead to stress. What is stress? One dictionary calls stress a state of mental tension that causes feelings of worry or anxiety. Stress will completely cause any passion we have for our husbands to disappear because whatever we stress over will become our focal point in lives, and ultimately to take priority over having sex.
Emotions, fatigue, preoccupation, and stress are a common part of life. However, there are ways that we can put each one into proper perspective so we can obtain balance and experience an extraordinary sex life within the marriage relationship.